Snarcasm: A Bug’s Life vs. Antz vs. the Rest of Us

It’s been 20 years since 1998, and you know what that means! Blog posts about films from 20 years ago / 1998! Eight-year-old Jon Negroni was too busy stuffing his face with Warheads (the candy, dummy) on multiple schoolyard dares, so he/me didn’t get a chance to litigate the Antz vs. A Bug’s Life debate…

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Snarcasm: This WALL-E Theory Makes So Much Sense That It Doesn’t

Fan theories are both the best and the worst. Kind of like people! But you can’t say the same about Pixar’s WALL-E, a triumph of animated cinema about the overly capitalist dangers of mankind passively wreaking havoc on the environ—

Snarcasm: Lady Bird Is Far From Perfect, So It’s Bad

Lady Bird

Warning: the post you are unfortunately about to read is filled with snark and sarcasm, known to many of you as Snarcasm. Please refrain from taking anything said here seriously, because as usual, none of it actually matters at all.

Those of us who put an extraordinary amount of hopes and dreams into Rotten Tomatoes had our hearts crushed recently. You see, a movie can only be good if an arbitrary percentage of arbitrarily chosen tastemakers arbitrarily place said movie on an arbitrarily designed spectrum. And so it is for Lady Bird, one of the most successful indie films of all time and until the release of Paddington 2, the best reviewed of all time according to a website that brings vegetables into a literal equation.

What soiled the 100% rating for Lady Bird on said vegetable counter platform? Well, none other than someone you’ve never heard of. Cole Smithey rated the film a gentleman’s C+, just barely putting the film under a “fresh” rating for Rotten Tomatoes.

What does this mean? Not much, except that we now have a chance to roll our eyes at someone’s alleged opinion. Surely, this is an honest review and not one designed to draw attention to an unrecognizable website few would bother to read a review from unless it was the sole contrarian in a sea of praise and released weeks and weeks after every other critic published their review. Surely.

Continue reading Snarcasm: Lady Bird Is Far From Perfect, So It’s Bad

Snarcasm: It’s Time For A New Pixar Theory, Sort Of

Snark + Sarcasm = what you’re about to read.  The Pixar Theory is old news, everyone. You know it. I know it. Lee Unkrich practically breathes it into the cease and desist letters he claims his lawyers send me. And then there’s Joshua Eyler, who graciously wants to speed the process

Snarcasm: Disney Ruined Pixar Because Why Not?

Did Pixar lose its way, or did we lose our way with Pixar? There’s no real answer to the latter part of that question because it makes no sense. But the article we’re snarcasming this week actually does make a lot of sense and deserves to be approached thoughtfully. Even though it’s basically wrong for the most part.

Snarcasm: The Cars in ‘Cars’ Aren’t Really Cars. Obviously.

A new Pixar Theory from MatPat claims the cars from Cars aren’t really cars…because that makes sense.

Snarcasm: Carl From ‘Up’ Is Insane And So Are You

Two years ago, SuperCarlinBros did a Pixar fan theory video that proposed Carl Fredricksen is “insane” for reasons that sound anything but. It’s an amusing video from a couple of good friends of mine, which is why it’s strange to see the theory popping up again…from someone else.