The first episode I ever watched of “How I Met Your Mother” was on an airplane in 2007. It was the Season 1 finale, which is absolutely fitting if you know how the show plays out in the very end.
I had no idea why Ted was after this girl Robin so desperately, why his friends were so against it (har har) and what the deal was with that blasted blue orchestra.
And yet I fell in love with every single character anyway, and I’ve been learning and growing with this show ever since, eagerly anticipating the moment we had all been waiting for on March 31st.
From this point on, we’re going to be discussing spoilers of course, so please don’t keep reading if you have not yet watched the series finale. I mean you can—but I personally believe that it would be a disservice to this legendary story that has been 9 years in the making.
Many people disliked the ending for “How I Met Your Mother,” and I’ve read many in-depth, compelling arguments and comments that address why so many of us walked away from that television screen with mixed emotions.
I know for me, all I could feel was confusion. Confusion because I was both angry and sad–typically symptoms of a traumatic experience. But the traumatic experience, honestly, wasn’t that the mother passed away. No, I was traumatized because in a way, we were losing all of these characters. It’s over. For good. The show has ended.
Now, many people are angry that in the end, Ted moves on to Robin. Six years after his wife passes away, Ted returns to Robin, and the show comes full-circle, which had fans feeling like the real final slap was to them.
It’s clearly not the ending fans wanted. Here are a few reasons why.
First, let’s address Barney and Robin. I have to admit that I’m a bit biased when it comes to their onscreen romance because I’ve been against it since season 4. Admittedly, I was curious to see Barney and Robin try it out, but I never actually bought that they were right for each other or even loved each other. I think I really just wanted to see Barney Stinson do something new with his character for a change.
My feelings about this persisted in later seasons, especially in the seventh, when Barney and Robin have their emotional rollercoaster (she likes him—he says no—he likes her—she says no, etc.) Even worse was when Barney pretty much proposed out of nowhere in season 8, even though the two of them weren’t a couple.
I always felt like it was odd for a couple that didn’t work out conventionally 4 years ago to ditch both of their preconceptions (neither of them wanted to get married throughout the series) and just commit to spending their lives with each other because…of love, apparently.
That’s why when they announced the divorce, I was sad, but relieved. I was relieved that the awkwardness I was feeling about their relationship was being vindicated by the writers, who clearly never intended for Robin and Barney to last.
Of course, that makes many of you angry that we spent an entire season building up to a wedding that was essentially pointless, but I think that’s a misguided interpretation. After all, it was never really about the wedding itself. We were watching because we wanted to see Ted meet the mother, and in a way, this was as much of a goodbye for Ted and the gang as it was a celebration of Robin and Barney.
They built up to the wedding, sure, but they also gave us plenty of reasons for why we shouldn’t expect much from Barney and Robin as a married couple. In the end, it’s Barney’s vow to never lie to Robin that ends their marriage because they realize that they really are too much alike, and all of us should have seen that coming.
People keep saying that it’s unfair for the writers to spend an entire season focusing on Robin and Barney’s wedding, but if you watch the season closely, you find a ton of set up for the relationship’s ultimate demise. Barney is too childish and similar to Robin’s father, there’s no trust in the relationship, Barney doesn’t come through for Robin with the locket, and we even find out that they’re actually related (kind of).
I’m actually surprised the wedding followed through at all. Perhaps the writers should have cancelled the wedding right before, chalking it up to Robin and Barney realizing that it would be a huge mistake and then Ted would meet the mother when it ended early, but doing so would have undercut the next 16 years.
It’s in that time that we figure out why the gang drifts apart. Robin pulls away from everyone intentionally to run away from Barney and Ted. That had to happen because that’s real life. One moment that touched me in particular was Robin’s confession to Lily during Halloween that she should have married Ted, but it was too late because he was with his soul mate.
But there’s a difference between a soul mate and the love of your life.
You hated the way the show ended because you wanted Ted to have the happy ending he deserved, not for him to backslide into a failed relationship from his 20s. I get that.
You hated the way the show ended because you thought it was “How I Met Your Mother,” not “How I Got Permission From My Kids To Marry Aunt Robin.” I totally get that.
You hated the way the show ended because it was messy. It wasn’t perfect. Ted found the perfect girl he wanted all along, but that didn’t mean life would be perfect forever.
You hated the way the show ended because you thought it was about having the patience to wait it out for a girl who is actually right for you.
You hated the show because it messed with the concept of time so furiously that it was difficult for us to process our emotions throughout. We had to say goodbye to the mother just as we met her, and even though Ted was happy for years with her, to us it felt like she almost never existed. It was rushed.
You hated the way the show ended because you wanted it to be about Tracy McConnell. But we both know it never was, as Ted’s kids cleverly explained.
You see, Ted didn’t backslide or regress. Robin wasn’t perfect for Ted. Never was. But you know what? There’s a difference between 27-year-old Ted and 52-year-old Ted.
In Season 1, Ted even says it himself: I don’t want perfect. I want Robin.
We wanted a perfect ending. We got Robin.
And I’m glad we did. I know that many people were feeling slighted because Ted had just spent the last few episodes of season 9 letting go of Robin, and it’s odd that he would ever go back to her. But keep in mind that letting go of Robin allowed Ted to meet the mother of his children. She gave him his dream. Two of them.
In the end, Ted and Robin got everything they said they wanted in the first season. Ted got the perfect wife and two kids. Robin got the career and was able to travel the world. It was only after they both got everything they wanted that they were ready for each other decades later.
You might think that this is foolish because Ted and Robin just didn’t work for 9 seasons, and that’s true. But again, they weren’t ready for each other. They needed to be apart first.
Robin was the love of Ted’s life, not his soul mate.
In “Vesuvius,” Tracy tells Ted something interesting. He knows she’s dying, as hinted by the crying at the uttering of “What kind of mother doesn’t attend her daughter’s wedding,” and she begs him to not live in his stories anymore. To move on.
Ted does this. He realizes that he has to stop living in the past that is his perfect life with his soul mate and move on.
You might think that Robin isn’t the right choice for him at 52, but you have to remember that they made a pact. If they’re single at 40, they’ll marry each other (Season 4). Ted’s just a little late.
I was heartbroken when the mother died, but I still consider the ending to this show to be perfect in its own way. The key is to view the show as a 25-year story. It’s weird to us that Ted would end up with Robin after everything they put each other through over the course of a decade, but in the grand scheme of things, that time was just a small portion of their lives.
This theme is repeated when Marshall tried to tell those kids at MacLaren’s what he felt about the place but could only say “All kinds of stuff (happened here).” He was at a loss for words because he knew that their experiences there were so short, fleeting and insignificant in that big city. He knew what went on there, and that was enough.
Ted told his kids this story to find closure for his wife’s death and subtly explain to his kids why it should totally be okay for him to love someone besides their mom, hence she was barely in the story at all. Classic Schmosby.
It answered the question we always wondered. Why was Future Ted telling such a long story that was really about Robin? It was because he figured this was the best way to make his kids understand what Robin means to him and how it doesn’t undermine the love he had for their mother. He’s even surprised that the kids are so okay with this, story or not.
Even though it’s not the ending we really wanted (because we wanted Ted to have the perfect wife and life), it’s the ending that needed to happen, and I can personally find peace in that. It’s easy to find peace in a story that’s not afraid to be real once in a while, cockamouses aside.
The finale wasn’t flawless, of course. We still don’t know what the deal was with that pineapple. We didn’t get to see Marshall gloat about winning the long-term bet with Lily (though we saw him pay up on Ted’s wedding day).
We didn’t even meet the mother of Barney’s child, but I think that was a subtle parallel to the show itself. It didn’t really matter who had Barney’s children. Ellie was the love of his life. Number 31 can stay hidden.
I think that if you’re really upset about this ending, you should at least give it a few more days to process. Thinking this deeply about a fictional story says a lot about how well done it was. At the very least, it’s important to recognize the impact that this legendary show had on so many people. For me, it was a way to bond with the first apartment roommates I ever had. For you, it could be the show that you and your eventual spouse had in common to talk about. Whatever the show did for you, it’s time to reflect on what a great run it turned out to be…even though they probably should have finished it up a few seasons ago.
Regardless, I’m no longer confused about the show now that I’ve processed it more myself. I’m now just feeling the same emotions, but categorizing them correctly. I’m still sad that the mother died and that the show is over. I’m angry (in a good way) that the creators of the show managed to pull a 9-year April Fool’s joke on us. And more than all, I’m happy that such a great show exists and will exist for new fans to come.
And that everyone, is how I watched “How I Met Your Mother.”
Reading this has summed up the majority of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had since watching the finale. I was confused and upset to begin with, but I think I can watch HIMYM from series one to the end happily now. All the characters really did get their “happily ever after” in the end, even though it wasn’t in the conventional, clichéd way.
You make some good points. I still feel like I watched a mobius strip masquerading as a TV show.
Reblogged this on .
Oh, Amen! You just explained this to all my facebook friends far better than I could.
You make some good points and I concede that in terms of the story overall, this was probably the right ending. But I still didn’t like the episode. The emotional moments felt forced (I got the feeling they were trying to force the same kind of emotional response as the final episode for Friends had), it jumped around too much (twenty-two episodes covering one weekend and then suddenly two episodes covering twenty years?), the pacing was off and the jokes, for the most part, wasn’t that funny. I started doing other stuff while watching it because it bored me. I cannot say the same for a single previous episode of the series.
I have read several recaps that were so negative about the finale, what a relief to read your take on the ending. I was never a huge fan of the show but I would watch it most Mondays and enjoy it. The characters were good and I really like all the actors in the show, that is why I watched more than any other reason. I loved watching the HIMYM cast on the Actor’s Studio earlier in the week. I enjoyed the finale for the same reasons you stated and did not have to even think about it or ponder it. I was sad when the mom died, but that happens and you move on eventually. Six years is a long eventually for some. Ted and Robin both got the ‘dream come true’ parts of their lives and now they can finish their lives together and live the rest of the dream together. As Mick Jagger so famously said “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.”
I don’t get this show at all. I watched all of one episode and it just seemed to be a tired rehash of Friends or some equally naff, canned laughter type sitcom. After the success of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Office (UK version of course) etc, the use of laughter tracks just seems so prehistoric now.
Reblogged this on Hannah Wrote This. and commented:
Sums up my feelings about the finale perfectly!
I actually liked this finale. Typically, even when I like a controversial series finale it’s because I’ve convinced myself to after investing time and emotion in a show (i.e. Lost). But I didn’t have to really work to make peace with the finale. Really, Ted and Robin had to get back together, because it’s the only way that Barney and Robin’s divorce wasn’t depressing (although I wasn’t too invested in them emotionally a divorce in the series finale is just sad), and it made the mother’s death not AS depressing. I was okay with it.
But part of me wishes he would have ended up with Victoria. There seemed to be a lot of magic there.
I have loved “How I Met Your Mother” from the first episode and I never missed an episode. While many say that they hated the finale because it felt forced or crammed way too much into one season, I felt it was perfect for the show and where it needed or even had to go. The finale brought it all together and showed us where they all would go from there.
What really impressed me about HIMYM was the fact that they were not afraid to be real. There are too many shows that portray life as perfect with a happily ever after if you are persistent. That is just not true and I am sick of those shows. Sure, we all find happiness in our own way but life is not perfect and neatly tied up at the end. Life is messy, often ugly, and many of us leave this world the same way we came in; kicking and screaming and I am so happy HIMYM was not afraid to show that.
The only thing I was ever upset about was that it took so long for Ted and Robyn to come back to each other and finally be together. I was their fan from the very beginning and felt they should have been together just like Lilly and Marshal but as Jon said, they were not ready and they both had to be ready or it never would have worked. I can accept that because that is life. It happens everyday.
I do not think it ended too early. I feel every season was essential and I wish it could have kept going but expanding on the stories they showed in the finale. To travel that road with Robyn and Barney. Watching that three-year marriage reaching its inevitable end. I would have cried with them as we gradually watched it all come apart as well as see Robyn live her dream. Relishing every triumph and being heart broken at every lose.
Then to see Ted and Robyn finally come back together knowing that is where they belong. HIMYM was a wonderful series in every way for me. I wish it could continue on but as in real life, every thing must come to an end.
I just want to point out that you wrote the Mother’s quote as, “What mother doesn’t attend her own daughter’s funeral?” but it should say wedding. Otherwise, spot on!
Thanks Mariah! I had a bit of a lapse there, but it’s all fixed now.
I disliked the finale. Good stories written by talented writers evolve as the characters evolve. The ending may change as the writer(s) and characters grow — hopefully the ending WILL change. This overbuilt finale with Ted and Robyn ending up together was a fine end to Season 1, or 2 or maybe 3. But it seemed empty and unfulfilling to most of the viewers because it was the same ending we all imagined and hoped for many seasons ago. It lacked depth, imagination and creativity. Every single viewer imagined that ending years ago. Cliché. Boring. Wasted. I find I have absolutely no interest in even watching reruns of the show.
I AGREE. I invested my time. Yep, I did to this show, and I have watched every single episodes on loop like countless times now. I almost feel like I felt the characters’ emotion. The way the changed, grew, and evolved. It’s like, the character’s growth just went missing. I hated it when they made Barney let go of the ‘game’ to 2 boys he met when he was drunk before the wedding. The way he burned The Playbook. The way he changed to be better. The way he said to his Dad in Season 6 that he was far broken and needed to be fix and shits like growing to be better and falling for Robin.
Then he made him like a complete jackass he was back from Season 1.
It was out of place. Suddenly, he was a playboy again. What happened to all that changes? Ugh. That made me so mad.
I would be fine if this was the ending of the series on Season 1, 2 or 3. But for 9 seasons after? It was out of place..
Fans are upset for this fact I think..it was rushed.
We all knew Robin and Barney stunk as a couple, but imperfect people get married that don’t quite fit all the time over love. The divorce wasn’t so off the cuff out of the box cause their imperfections and solidarity, but to just casually say they got divorced in that setting felt so thoughtless. If they had focused on the wedding in the first episodes of this season being more insignificant, and without the whole Marshall fiasco (oye I hated that!), but then went down the same ladder story, with the aging and important life events they were trying to portray and stunk at doing, then I think I wouldn’t feel so slighted at the way things went down with Ted and Robin. The writers kept them all true to their characters, that is for sure, but it was all rushed and weird at the end.
Didn’t it stink that the whole part on the train platform where Ted and Tracy initially met and discussed the uncanny ways they knew one another without really knowing one another was so sloppy and insignificant?..but those exact uncanny incidents were MAJORLY significant the whole show’s span..?? They should’ve given them a broader story together, so we felt like there was a truer love story for Ted. Robin was always there in his thoughts, that was apparent with their whole relationship off and on, but Tracy felt like a blip, when she should’ve felt more legen…wait for it..dary.
OK I feel better letting that out. I have been holding that in.
Now what did you think of The Mindy Project’s openers? 😉
Not gonna lie — I am one of the naysayers. But I do have to say that your argument for why it works is probably the best I’ve read. I still feel like we were rushed and that spending a whole season leading up to the wedding was unnecessary for a failed marriage. I do understand that there was development in other storylines (Ted letting Robin go, Marshall and Lily clearing the air, everyone meeting the mother and getting some background on her, etc) but there was also a lot of filler.
I’m not so disappointed in the outcome (although I don’t PREFER Robin and Ted together), but rather its presentation.
I do have to say that your argument has made me feel a little bit better about it. I like your idea that Robin and Ted weren’t ready for each other and now they are. That’s a really beautiful concept, but the finale was rushed so much that I don’t feel convinced that Robin has changed. I think if we were given a little more time to digest the events in the years leading up to 2030, I’d feel differently. Even if it was just another couple of episodes. I would like to understand where Robin and Ted are emotionally now in order to better accept that they’ll be a match at this point.
And you’re definitely right about one thing — the fact that this is being discussed at such detail and with so many different opinions does speak volumes about how great the show is as a whole. It’s going to be really hard for me to watch comedies now because the bar has been set so high with this one.
I liked the finale from the moment it finished. It felt realistic. So often, TV shows us this fantasy escapism with happy endings all around. I think all the characters ended up with happy endings, just not the ones WE wanted. But we can’t pick our own endings. Things happen along the way that can sometimes change those endings. Barney and Robin’s life is realistic in that marriages fail. Marshall and Lily’s life is realistic in that marriage is about trying to balance two lives and finding a way to work together as one, even if that means not getting a dream job at exactly the time you want it. Ted and Tracy’s life is realistic in that sometimes, the person you love is taken from you too early. Ted and Robin’s life is realistic in that sometimes love does give you a second chance. I don’t feel cheated or lied to by the creators. I think the title still fits either way. “How I Met Your (Biological) Mother” could also turn into “How I Met Your (Step)mother.”
it was a good finale that provided a realistic look at life as so many have eloquently said above. This article sums up a lot of what I felt, I mainly felt a sense of loss over losing good friends. I was pleased with the ending unlike the ending of LOST.
One shouldn’t be allowed to play with the audience like that!!! Read this, why Harry Potter and HIMYM were similar but Rowling did the right thing!!!! wp.me/p1wgLD-gk
thanks so much. finally got closure. was so confused after watching the finale. it all makes sense to me now.
My biggest problem with the finale is that they spent 2 seasons working on Barney and changing him into a decent guy, and then after he and Robin get divorced, he goes back to worse than he was before really abruptly. They take a great story about how someone can change for good, throw it away (the perfect month?), and then throw in an accidental baby to redeem his character. It felt forced. Since they had to make Ted and Robin end up together, they just completely trashed Barney’s character development, and since that would have made everyone angry, they threw in the baby and suddenly he’s human again. Didn’t like that at all. Thoughts?
THIS IS WHAT I’M SO UPSET ABOUT. They wrote the thing made the show awesome a stink ending.
YEAAARS of seeing him growing, doubting about his bachelor life. Finally to see him fixed with Robin, his true love, THEN THEY CRUSHED IT. In a one-hour episode.
I would’ve like this ending if they ended after 3 seasons. But they build up 6 seasons revolving around Barney and Robin’s characters. Not to mention they had so much chemistry and dynamic (we got Ted and Robin for a brief 2 seasons, then Ted stopped caring about her and meet girls then started to say he loved her out of nowhere in Season 7). So, what had started so long, so complicated, filled with struggles, END WITHIN 3 years of stupid arguments yet again about Robin’s job???
That’s what bothers me.
Wonderfully written article, and I agree with how you looked at the finale.
I agree with the sentiments that the last section of story were too compacted and rushed. I think, with a little more time given, the finale could have worked better. As it was, it didn’t feel wholly true to the show.
In a way, one of my favorite series finales is Everybody Loves Raymond, where they didn’t try to do a ‘special episode’ with flashbacks and remembrances. They just did one final, and hilarious, episode, and then let the characters continue on with their lives.
hey there!
I was just over with the last season and got so many mixed feelings about this excellent show, when I found your blog. I know this will sound so crazy, but when the voice in my head read your blog it actually was ted’s 52-old-voice and this somehow really convinced me :D! good job 😉
I loved the season finale.
I hated EVERYTHING about the finale, but the fact that they openly confirmed that the reason I was watching the show was never what the show was destroyed my ability to enjoy the show ever again. AND I FREAKING LOVED THAT THEY CALLED HER AUNT ROBIN IN THE FIRST EPISODE! There are so many Will they Won’t they stories I was glad they weren’t doing one more. This was a cop out ending and my opinion will never change.